My teapot challenge – me

past-future-signposts

Me.

I’ve been gaining weight one way or another since 2008,  I was 140lbs on my wedding day, which for me meant a perfect size 12, I’m 5 foot 3 (stretched) when I gain weight it goes straight to my belly, face, arms and legs.. pretty much all over..ewwww.

Before that I was always on a diet but fluctuated between a 12-14, nothing too major.

For obvious reasons I came off the pill after getting married in 2008 and after being on it for 15 years I was greeted swiftly with the symptoms of PCOS, which was being masked by the pill I was on, great stuff. A few attempts, hospital appointments and some lovely fertility drugs later we was no closer to the goal and the PCOS symptoms had come in force.. It wasn’t to be with the whole baby making plan, not that it really mattered as I’m one of the lucky ones to have actually found a husband who is more than happy with it being just us 2….. fast forward over 4 years to 23rd October 2012 and I’m 50lbs heavier and about to embark on the Kettlercise Challenge..(Which I’m affectionately calling the teapot challenge) because I’m hoping drinking tea with skimmed milk will get me through the first few weeks!

I’m no wall flower, big or small my personality remains the same when I’m dressed up and out with friends, I certainly do not shy away from attention but thats because I’m lucky I’ve got friends who actually support me whatever my size despite the fact I’m more than likely atleast 40lbs heavier than them!

Home life has changed in some ways, I’ve been with my husband for over 6 years, we met on a night out, fell in love straight away I’m very lucky. If Im honest (I don’t think Ive actually ever said this out loud so why Im writing it is beyond me!)  I’ve kinda started “avoiding” getting ready in front of the husband and well other stuff.. its only now when I actually think about it I realise how much I have started to get him to “shut his eyes” “turn the light off” and walk round with a dressing gown on constantly I jump into bed when hes in the bathroom to hide under the quilt..I never really thought about it before, my weight must be affecting my homelife from his perspective?

Not so importantly another thing that has changed is the fact I do not swim anymore. I used to love swimming, now I feel “conscious” when I even think about getting in the pool in front of anyone #shudder also on a beach I do not move… like anywhere!

Ask any of my friends they’ll tell you I hate the sun, I hide under a umbrella, I wear clothes that cover me, because I don’t like the sun? Honest answer.. Its a diversion.

I love strutting around in bikinis.. but I CANT! I’m too big, too flabby, too fat.

My solution, stay hidden. That way I don’t miss time with my friends, and I do get to go on holiday!

Right, so first step DONE, facing problems. Being honest.

There all here out in the open now hey? Hard bit over!

I don’t smoke, barely drink (nights out with friends being the exception) I don’t drink during the day or evenings and at nights I drink cordial or water.

Eating habits at the moment are pretty bad, I don’t eat anything all day in work unless someone is going out at dinner, if not I eat one big meal a day with a ton of bread, then a big bar (200g) of chocolate afterwards.. I don’t ever exercise other than taking the dogs for a walk for 10 mins in morning and 30mins at night..and I drive everywhere other than that.

I’m a total chocolate monster. That’s going to be the really hard bit for me. I actually enjoy eating salads, I don’t drink enough milk, and I take vitamins (multi plus iron + cod liver oil) every night before bed.

So here goes nothing.. they say the first 14 days of anything are the hardest, after that it becomes a habit.. maybe I’m making it up, sounds good though!

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